You may have recently heard about the social media ban that the UK will be implementing in Spring 2027 (Australia implemented this earlier this year as well).
While I understand why so many parents are celebrating, many experts in child safety and cybersecurity are not happy about this (myself included).
Fareedah, a cybersecurity expert who specializes in preventing online grooming, articulates some of the hidden issues in this reel.
I absolutely agree that children shouldn’t be on social media—but I also believe that it’s on us as parents to implement these boundaries. App restrictions can’t replace hard conversations, and nothing can protect our kids more than the relationship we build with them.
I know you likely agree with that part, and that’s why you’re here.
(As a side note, I’m also adamantly against apps having my kids’ faces and DOBs, even for the sake of age verification. I don’t trust any of these companies with that information 😮💨.)
The thing is, what will likely happen is that the children who are least vulnerable aren’t on these apps anyway, and those who are the most vulnerable will be even more in danger. Vulnerabilities don’t disappear because of a ban. Neither will the predators. They’ll just find other, more hidden ways to access those kids.
With that said, let me show you how I protect my preteen from this.
First, let me give you a quick rundown of how online predators typically operate.
Online predators often begin the grooming process by building trust. They dig through their targets’ publicly available information and use that knowledge to manufacture a sense of familiarity. They might say they used to go to the same school, or that they have a mutual friend. They might notice posts about feeling isolated and pretend they are in a similar situation.
Once some familiarity and trust are established, they’ll begin showering their target with attention and then testing their boundaries. They may ask for personal information including things about their family life, and then escalate to requesting compromising photos, or setting up a meet. If they know what they’re doing, it will feel like a normal conversation.
In recent cases, exploiters have been targeting boys, getting them to send compromising photos, and then threatening to send the photos out en masse unless they pay up. This has led to devastating consequences, including death by suicide 💔
PREVENTION:
If I thought my kid was vulnerable to being groomed on social media, I would be considering what need this type of relationship would fulfill and look for ways to fulfill those needs. I warn you, this is literally how my brain works in these situations and there’s a LOT going on 🥲.
I’d ask myself:
1. Is the unfulfilled need related to belongingness? If so, how can I cultivate a deeper sense of belongingness within our home? Are we spending enough time experiencing joy together or is the balance tipped towards teaching/lecturing/correcting? Do my kids feel like they know the *real* me? Have I been vulnerable at least to some degree with them—no need to share the heavy stuff, just enough that they know I’m human too. Do they genuinely know how important and irreplaceable they are to me and our family?
While home is the most important place to establish belongingness, forming genuine friendships are also important.
If my kid doesn’t seem to have good friends at school, I’d ask myself if there’s a sport or activity that they can join to meet more people with shared interests. How else can I help them build a supportive community?
2. Is the unfulfilled need related to romantic love/attention?
This one’s trickier, since it’s common for middle & high schoolers to seek this type of attention as part of their normal development. Elementary schoolers may also seek this attention, though I’ve noticed that in younger kids, it’s more prevalent among those who have experienced childhood trauma and are fantasizing about having a safe, loving home (in which case a romantic partner represents a family).
I’d ask myself how well my kid trusts me. Have I shown them that they are safe to come to me with anything, or is honesty met with shame and/or punishment? Would they come to me if they felt scared or embarrassed? If not, how can I work on being a safe space for them? This often starts by validating how they feel, even when I don’t necessarily agree with it.
How well does my kid know the traits of a safe person, and how well can they spot an unsafe person? Are they used to healthy relationships? If so, the moment that a predator begins to test boundaries, I know that my kid is much more likely to end the conversation. Does my kid realize that the person they’re talking to may not actually be who they say they are? This will impact what kind of information they share online.
I specifically identify needs related to love and belongingness because I know that those two vulnerabilities are by far the most commonly targeted by predators. They are horrifically easy to spot, especially in vulnerable kids with a large digital footprint.
PROTECTION:
If my kids were on social media apps or gaming platforms where strangers could potentially contact them, I’d make sure I had a conversation about online safety and sextortion with them.
I’d make sure they knew the information I shared about online predators above, and that if they are being targeted by a predator or exploiter, I would 100% be there to help them. They wouldn’t get in trouble, and they wouldn’t need to deal with it alone.
Predators weaponize shame to keep victims silent, so it’s really important to disarm this as much as possible from the get-go.
If I didn’t think that they were old enough for this conversation, and there was even the smallest possibility that a predator or exploiter could reach them, then I’d rethink whether they should be on this app/game.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments!
P.S.
For parents who want support and guidance on how to raise kids that naturally repel predators (without fear-based tactics), learn from me directly in my Safe Parent Group Mentorship.
